Quest for Coffee!
by FluffyDragonsLiveInMyHouse
Summary: I didn't ask for this. I just wanted coffee! But what do I get? A broken neck, a dead body, some vengeful god visiting my dreams and these freaky weirdos in freaky cloaks chasing me. Honestly, I blame Monday. Oh well, time to wreck havoc on the Naruto World! Watch out, here comes Flynn Ryder! Rated T for Flynn's potty mouth.
1. I hate Mondays!

Coffee.

One thing. One tiny, simple, delicious thing. That was all I wanted. A nice cup of coffee to start off this shitty Monday morning before I went to school. All I asked for! What do I get? A broken neck.

Of fucking course. Ryder luck, I'm telling you. We try and pet the bunny and it will end up giving us rabies. We just want the Holy Grail for God's sake!*

So, you know the drill - the alarm goes off, the internal debate as to whether one should get up or not; face Monday, or stay under the blankets for five more minutes? The struggle to get out of bed and get dressed. Trying not to fall asleep as you brush your hair, blah blah blah. Typical, boring, old Monday, right?

Wrong.

God just wants to go, "Up yours!" and screw up my day even more - it's either the Ryder luck or Monday luck really. So I'm all ready to go, in my ever flattering outfit of a hoodie, t-shirt and jeans, complete with the over-the-shoulder bag, and I get that familiar craving.

So I think to myself, what's the harm right? I have over an hour to get to school, I'll just pop into the shop and buy some coffee, and head on - sure, I'll be done ages before I get to school!

And then there I am, waiting to cross the road. Rush hour was hectic; cars whizzing by at the speed of light, drivers cursing their mouths off at everyone, groaning when the lights turn red, don't you know it.

The craving gets worse - I need that coffee! That delicious, warming, amazing beverage made for students - I need it. I glance to my right. No oncoming traffic - safe to cross then! So I run across the road before I realize what a terrible idea that was.

I guess I forgot to take the Ryder luck into play, because next thing I knew I'm flying through the air, my upper body in agony, and my head feeling like it was being split apart. My whole body jerks as I skid across the road, skin tearing off and - I suppose I must have looked like a ragdoll.

Just as I come to a stop, everything burst into pain at once, and dims. Everything around me seemed to stop and I felt like I was sinking deeper into bliss. I had another internal struggle, sort of like the one everyone has in bed, but it went more like:

Sink into peace and away from all the pain, or force myself to face all of that again?

The answer seemed obvious to me at the time, my eyes fluttering closed and my breaths coming out shallower and shallower. And a strange tingling sensation came over my body and bam! The pain was gone.

But with everything good comes the bad. I open my eyes again, and I blink at the sight before me. And I blink again. My brain felt numbed at it was hard to take in the sight before me - well, me.

I was on the ground, my limbs splayed all over the road, my eyes closed and streams of blood flowing down from my forehead, mouth, underneath me... everywhere it seemed. I was literally in a pool of my own blood. And I was so _pale_. My lips - now tinted blue - were parted slightly and my chest wasn't moving.

Dead. I was dead. I could tell from the amount of scarlet blood - _my blood oh my god - _everywhere and the unnatural angle my head was at. I could have swore I saw nubs of white - _is that my fucking spine oh my god what - _sticking out from the huge ass gash in my neck.

Feeling nauseous (or was it just a phantom feeling? I was _dead_ after all - I heard you weren't able to feel anything when you were dead) I turned away and noticed the truck that had hit me. No seriously, it was a big frikken' truck! How the hell did I miss that?

The Ryders' luck obviously, I reminded myself.

Now I know what ye are thinking. "Aren't you taking your death in pretty well? Why aren't you freaking out?" To put it simply, I was numb. My eyes were saying, "Oh dear, you've died hon." While my brains is going, "Oh, nah, that's impossible! I can't _die_ yet! Me - die? _Me? _No way, it's impossible, I have too much to do."

And the blood splatters that coated the bumper of the truck caught my eye. The driver looked horrified and he was staring at my body. Looking around, I notice cars coming to a stop and people pointing and screaming. And the obvious assholes _who were taking fucking photos._

I hissed. Seriously?! I die, and what do they do?

_Status Update: OMG!1!1 DIS GRL JUST GOT HIT!11! LOL xDDDD_

Fuck them. Fuck them all and this fucked up society. I better look fucking fabulous on facebook - I swear, if my last picture looks like there's a Quasimodo dead on the road-!

Oh, right, priorities. Well, now what was I supposed to do? Well, I could introduce myself for starters. Here goes!

My name is (was?) Flynn Ryder. I am (I was?) a 13 year old girl in a boring school in a boring town with a boring life - erm, death. The thing I liked most about myself, I suppose, was my slightly-longer-than-average red hair - deep red, none of that bright orange Weasley shite - and my bright orange-border-yellow eyes. Weird, I know, but I prefer weird to normal.

I hated my freckles. Despised them, the genetic curses they were, standing out on my deathly pale skin. And seeing as I'm always moaning about "The Ryder Luck" I suppose I should explain:

Us Ryders have a horrible streak of luck. Take, for example, my grandma. She smoked once - _once _- and she developed a tumour in her lung a week later and died. Or my great uncle Dan. He drank a couple of shots, ended up drunk out of his mind and in a bar fight, got punched so hard he knocked his head off a curb and died of blood loss.

And that's just the two of them - you don't even _want _to know some of the worst things we managed to do.

And, again life, seriously? Death at 13? That's...that's kind of gay, you know. No, scratch that, it is ultimate _bullshit_. What happened to graduating? Travelling the world? Being killed heroically by protecting a bunch of kiddies from a savage tiger? ...to that double art class I was gonna have this Friday!?

And another thing, I love art. I mostly sketch and mess around with water colours, and while I'm not exactly Leonardo da Vinci standard, I like to think I'm good enough.

I glance around, ignoring the paramedics rushing in with the...shock-you-back-to-life thingies, although it was slightly amusing to watch them shock my body yet really creepy at the same time, and thought about one thing...

Now what? Where was the whole "don't-walk-into-the-light" scene? Or Death? Or - or something! I didn't want to be stuck roaming the earth, forever watching people drink coffee without being able to have some myself...

I sighed inaudibly. _Um...Shinigami-sama? Death? Grim Reaper? Yo, anyone there? I would very much like to move on thanks. Yours sincerely, watching my dead body isn't that fun._

Nothing. Nada! I groaned (but I wasn't able to hear that either - maybe I was just imagining it? Maybe I was going crazy even in death?) and stamped on the ground rather childishly. What, was Ichigo off duty or something? Honestly, stupid gingers...

A sudden idea popped into mind. "O Mighty Jashin-sama," I began. Yes, I was a Narutard and yes this was absolutely ridiculous, but whatever, "I wish to be -" What now? In a fanfiction, people who had died would be reborn or tossed into the Naruverse...Me?

I'm gonna be original! I'm going to do something so ridiculous, so crazy, so..._hipster, _that I shall make huge changes! Amazing changes! Because of my original idea, to be...!

" - thrown into the Naruverse!"

Yep. 10 points to Gryffindor for originality, right? And I know, "Why don't you be reborn in the Naruverse! You could get chakra/kekki genkai, blah blah... Well, I kind of like being Flynn Ryder, not...Uchiha Sasukia, forgotten twin sister of Sasuke, or some shit, so I waited. Other than a slight breeze, nothing...wait. A breeze?

I frowned. From what I gathered at the crowd's lack of reaction to the ghost of the girl just killed talking to no one, I was invisible, and probably able to walk through things, even though I hadn't even moved yet. I felt an absolute lack of tiredness or urge to move - maybe, maybe it might have something to do with the fact I'm _dead?_

Anyways. The breeze slowly grew into a wind, which grew into a gale, which grew into what felt like a frikken' hurricane. I winced and attempted to shield my eyes with my hands...which were not solid. Well amn't I smart.

Not too long after the hurricane started - ok, like five seconds after - I was lifted off of my feet _again _and thrown backwards, although there wasn't any tearing of my skin this time, but my insides felt like they were being thrown upwards...

My eyes, which closed at the force of the wind, snapped open and my mouth popped open into a small 'o' of surprise. I was _falling through the Earth._

What. The. Fuck!? Life hack much? No, seriously, I was falling through the sewage drains, then through rocks (which felt really weird!) and then through the mantle which terrified me shitless (hey, if _you_ were encased in molten magma you wouldn't be laughing would you?) and I closed my eyes again.

Was I going to be falling forever? Or maybe I was going to Hell! I only drank that Baileys once, I swear!...ok maybe twice...or three times...or ten...It's not my fault that Irish whiskey is so good!

I kept my eyes closed and my thoughts began to be replaced with the noise of nothingness roaring past my ears filled my head up, pounding against my ears, tearing apart my skull...

And that was when I felt a pulling sensation in my stomach, which spread to my torso, then to my limbs and head and it felt like I was being pulled and pushed in every direction at once...

My poor fuzzy, possibly non-existent 13 year old mind couldn't take it. I blacked out.

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

Now Hinata was having a nice day. She ate breakfast with her team and sensei, had a vigorous training session soon after and was now chatting with her team-mates. Heck, Naruto-kun even _smiled_ at her! So her day was coming along pretty nicely.

Right now Kiba, Shino, Hinata and Kurenai were sitting down in the training ground and eating bentos packed by Kurenai. The silence was only broken by the sounds of eating and the occasional bird song.

A sudden wave of something unnatural swept over the clearing out of nowhere. They all jumped up and Akamaru let out a low whine, ears flattened against his head as his master sniffed the air uncertainly. Shino's kikaichu were pooling out of his sleeves and buzzing in agitated rhythm. Hinata had activated her Byakugan and was scanning the surrounding area while their sensei had flipped out a kunai and barked out a, "Hinata, what do you see?"

Her pale lavender eyes stopped and stared at one point in particular in the sky, widening in disbelief. _What...?_ Her eyes trailed down and she stammered, "I-I-I don't know! I don't - I can't-! I-It's..."

"Shino?"

There was no emotion on said genin's face, other than the subtle slope of his eyebrows. "I can't tell sensei. My kikaichu are picking up on an enormous chakra-like presence." Kurenai's eyes narrowed. "Chakra-like? It's not actual chakra?" She questioned. Shino gave an affirmative nod.

"This needs to be reported to Hokage-sama. Stay there you three while I go get backup," Kurenai ordered, body-flickering away. Silence fell on the trio. "...should we get closer?" Kiba suggested.

Hinata shook her head, wide-eyed. "No K-Kiba-kun! Sensei t-told us to st-stay here!" Kiba rolled his eyes, "What do you think Shino? Shouldn't we get closer?" Shino merely adjusted his glasses again, and said, "It would be better to get a visual, but we shouldn't engage with whatever it is as it's...power levels are huge."

"Yosh! Let's go, Akamaru!" Kiba grinned. They sped off towards the source of the disruption with Shino following. Hinata hesitated, but after a second's indecision she chased after her team mates.

While jumping from tree to tree, Kiba spoke up, "Hey guys? What do you think it is, to have such big power levels?" Hinata shook her head in reply. "I d-don't know, Kiba-kun. My B-Byakugan picked up o-on something re-really strange...but I-I don't know what it i-is."

Shino nodded in agreement. "My kikaichu tell me that whatever the anomaly it is, it's power levels are massive, but it's chakra levels...they are almost non-existent. Even less than a civilians," he told them.

Kiba frowned. "That's strange; something your Byakugan and Kikaichu couldn't pick up on?" He grinned suddenly. "Whatever it is, it's gotta be strong! This is gonna be fun, ne, Akamaru?" Akamaru barked in reply.

A minute later, Hinata called out, "Hey, w-wait!" Kiba, Akamaru and Shino turned to look at her. Hinata's Byakugan was activated and she was looking off to the right. "O-over there. In that c-clearing." She pointed to where she was looking as she spoke.

Team 8 changed their course and reached the clearing a few seconds later. Akamaru whined and Kiba tilted his head in confusion. "A...girl?" For some reason, there was a small crater in the middle of the clearing, and in the centre lay a girl.

Shino frowned. "She looks like she was in a fight," he muttered. The girl looked to be around their age, with red hair that was matted in blood and she lay splayed in the crater. Her face was deathly pale and blood was running down her temple and down her neck, pooling in the hollow of her collarbone.

What wasn't covered was either cut or bloody, and she wore strange clothes which were tattered heavily and tugged up slightly at her stomach, revealing the bottom of a heavily bruised rib cage. Hinata blanched. "W-w-what happened t-to her?" she wondered.

"Should we help her? She looks like death," Kiba questioned. Shino hesitated. "...we should wait for backup. We do not know how strong she is - she might be an enemy kunoichi for all we know." Kiba frowned. "But she looks so beaten up, she can't really hurt us can she?"

"I don't know. We should head back and tell Kurenai-sensei what we've found," Shino replied, and Kiba sighed. "Fine. Let's go."

"A-Ano...guys, I-I'll catch up l-later..." Hinata mumbled, blushing. Kiba blinked. "Eh? Oh, ok then. See ya later Hinata! Don't stay too long!" He called over his shoulder as he jumped away. Hinata just nodded and the moment they were out of sight she jumped down to inspect the girl further.

_That's strange...in fact, it's abnormal - this girl...she doesn't have a chakra network! No tenketsu or anything! _

Hinata crouched down beside the girl, staring at her face for a moment, taking in the bluish hue to her lips. She reached out and touched the girls face, only to withdraw her hand. "S-She's ice cold!" She exclaimed.

She lifted up a limp wrist to check for a pulse, but found nothing. "She's...dead?" she mumbled to herself, eyebrows furrowing. Why was a battered body lying in a crater? In fact...Hinata thought back to when the wave of power swept over the clearing.

_What was that? Kiba, Shino and Kurenai-sensei didn't see anything, so I must have seen it because of my Byakugan...But what was it? It just looked like a normal girl...But then why was she only visible to the Byakugan? Even if she's dead and shouldn't have chakra, she doesn't have a chakra network...did she die because of it?_

Hinat bit her lip, mulling over her thoughts. _I should report this to sensei, _she decided, leaping up to the trees and back to the training grounds.

Hinata's day just got a lot stranger.

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

I groaned. My...everything hurt. My ribs most of all, and my knees and elbows felt like they were on fire. I cracked open an eye, shutting it immediately as light flooded into it. _Urgh...turn off the lights please..._

I felt the sun warming my face and frowned. Wasn't it raining before...

Right. Before I died. Wait, if I was dead, how could I feel the sun? Wasn't I a ghost or something? I opened my eyes again and attempted to sit up, letting out another groan as my muscles began protesting at the small movement.

I lay down again and closed my eyes, waiting as the pain faded back to a dull throb. I sniffed the air experimentally. It smelt fresh, fresher than the polluted shithole I lived in, so I could gather that I was somewhere different. But where? I listened keenly, making out the rustle of leaves and birdsong. So a forest then.

I opened my eyes for a third time, making out green blurs that I assumed were the crowns of trees, and the big blue blob was the sky. I sighed, and attempted to sit up again. I managed to get into a hunched over position despite my pain. Getting hit by a truck hurts...a lot.

I looked over my hands, vaguely noting the caked blood and various cuts on them, the skin peeled off in some parts. I placed them down in front of me and shifted around until I was on my knees, and I tried standing up, almost falling over from the pain in my legs.

Placing a hand on the tree behind me, I positioned myself until I was leaning against the tree, panting from the small exertion. Jesus, I was mess up bad wasn't I?

My vision began clearing up, so I studied where I was more. Apparently...I was lying a crater. A motherfucking crater? The hell? Looking up, I found I was a clearing in the middle of a forest. I swear, if I was in the middle of no where, with no coffee close by I was going to lose it!

Shakily, I put one leg in front of me and put a bit of weight on it, only to grab the tree behind me when it crumpled beneath me. "Why thank you Mr. Tree, you're such a gentleman," I mumbled. "No, I don't need any help, thank you. Oh, you meant a therapist? Well screw you too Mister Tree!" I yelled, pushing away from it...only to faceplant.

Right, jelly legs. I forgot. I sighed, the sound muffled by the earth my face was currently getting acquainted with, and lifted myself onto my arms again, staying in a kneeling position. I wasn't exactly fit to be moving around, but staying in the one spot was killing me.

_Ooh~! My coffee senses are a-tingling! This way! _I began crawling determinedly in a random direction, begging my coffee senses weren't wrong - they usually weren't. By god, I would crawl through Hell and back for a drop of coffee right now, I was parched!

I managed to crawl for about five minutes before collapsing again. I could have sworn I heard my muscles creaking, but maybe it's just me.

My eye-lids were feeling heavy. "Ooh...'m sure a...quiiick nap...wou'n't hur'..." I slurred sleepily, and I closed my eyes and fell asleep in the middle of a forest, with no clue where I was or if there were any wild animals around.

Aren't I smart?

* * *

**A/N: ****And end! Bam, first fanfic bitchatchoes!**

**Yes girl dying and being thrown into the Naruverse is horribly cliche.**

**No I don't give a shit.**

**I hate Mondays *flips a table and froths at mouth in rage***

**IT'S ALMOST 4AM I SHOULD NOT BE AWAKE AND WRITING THIS AND MEOFICNEOCNFEOD I just want curry cheese chips T^T**

*** Yes that is a reference to **_**Monthy Python and the Holy Grail. **_**If you haven't seen it already you should watch it, captain's order!**

**Review please! Or don't. No cookie for you then! *sniffles***

**OH MY GOD MONDAYS, NO ONE LIKES YOU, NOT EVEN FAT GINGER CATS LIKE YOU, WE WANT THE WEEKEND BACK URGH.**

**School, nooooooo *falls into despair* Please, please, for the love of god, kill me and throw me in the Naruverse, please! Or better yet, make me reborn in the Naruverse! Then I can piss myself and be a little shit at 3 in the morning with good reason!**

**Omg I'm nervous to post this. Hriodedegbhn YOLO amirite?**

**...that was horrible kill me.**

**Anyways, shout out to Midna'sMadness here for inspiring me to actually upload this and not let it fall into the darkest recess' of my laptop :D You go girl! Also, check out her story, _God's Game_ right now. CAPTAIN'S ORDER! Seriously, it's amazing. Shameless advertising, but w/e!  
**

***whispers* Fanfiction can't handle my swag.**


	2. I don't agree with doors

The Hokage sat behind his desk and puffed on his pipe agitatedly, shuffling the papers in front of him. There had been reports of men with black and read cloaks sighted repeatedly along the border between Fire and Sand. Given that the Chuunin Exams were coming up, it wasn't a good sign.

_Given that both the Kyuubi and the Ichibi Jinchuurikis are competing in the Exams, it's obvious what the Akatsuki are after. We need to tighten our security for when they attack... _Sarutobi Hiruzen steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them, sighing deeply.

Not to mention that strange shock wave that came out of nowhere, literally. What sort of jutsu could use so much raw power yet no detectable chakra? What would it even do? He had seen many a terrifying jutsu in his day, but none with this kind of power.

He was finding it hard to decide which team to send out to investigate the borders and jutsu, although Gai's team was beginning to sound like a good idea, what with the powerhouse of a jounin in charge. Just then the sound of knocking reached his ears.

Sitting up straight, he called, "Enter." The door opened to reveal one Yuhi Kurenai. "Hokage-sama," she greeted with a bow. He smiled warmly, "Kurenai," he returned, "What is it? You look alarmed."

Kurenai straightened out of her bow and looked him in the eye. "You felt it too, did you not?" She questioned. "I believe everyone in this village felt it," Sarutobi replied. "I wish to report, sir," she said.

Nodding his head for her to continue, she said, "When my team and I were in the training ground, we felt the...disruption. Shino's kikaichu couldn't pick up on any chakra but Hinata's Byakugan picked up on something, although Hinata herself couldn't describe it. I left them in the training grounds, although I doubt they would stay put," Kurenai finished with a small smile.

The Hokage nodded his head. "Alright, I shall send Kakashi to investigate the site with you and Team Eight." Just as he said that, Kakashi walked in the open door. "Yo, Hokage-sama, Kurenai," he greeted lazily. "He has already been briefed on his mission," Sarutobi said.

Kurenai raised an eyebrow. "Shall we go then?" She said. Kakashi nodded, eyes still trained on that perverted orange book of his. Bowing again to the Hokage, her and Kakashi shun-shinned out of the office and to the training grounds.

Noting only two of her genin, she asked, "Where's Hinata?" Kiba looked over at Shino, who stared right back, before sighing. "We wanted to get a visual of whatever cause that power..wave..thing... and we saw - um, a girl? But she was all bloody and pale and lying in the middle of a crater! And Hinata wanted to stay behind for whatever reason...and here she is now!" He pointed over behind the two jounins, who turned and saw Hinata running towards them.

Reaching her team, she stuttered, "H-Hello Kurenai-sensei and K-Kakashi-sensei!" "So? What did you find?" Kakashi asked, gaze never leaving that damned book. "A-ano...S-she was d-d-dead...a-and she didn't h-have a chakra net-network! No tenketsu or-or anything," she replied in a confused tone, eyebrows furrowing.

"A dead girl lying in a crater huh...Why don't you show us the way to the body?" Kakashi eye-smiled. Kiba grinned. "Yosh! Follow us!" He hollered over his shoulder and leapt away into the trees with Shino and Hinata beside him and Kakashi and Kurenai right behind.

After a few minutes of silent travelling they arrived at the clearing where the girl was. Except there was no body. What there were, though, were bloodmarks; a pool of blood where the body obviously had lay and drops and splatters of blood leading out of the crater, up to a tree (with blood on it that looked suspiciously like a hand print) and away into the bushes.

"We should follow it as it will probably lead to the body," Shino noted. Kurenai sighed through her nose. "Hinata, Kiba and Shino, you three go and find the body. Bring it back here. Me and Kakashi will collect blood samples and see if we can identify the girl," she ordered.

"Hai!" Team Eight chorused, and Akamaru barked, disappearing into the under-bushes of the forest. Kurenai turned to Kakashi. "So?" Kakashi glanced up at her briefly before going back to reading his book again.

"There's only two options, really. Either someone dragged the body away, or that body is very much alive," Kakashi drawled. Kurenai nodded, crouching down and pulling out a vial from the recess' of her pouch. She began scooping blood into the vial, being careful not to touch it with her hands. Kakashi simply leaned against a tree and read his book.

* * *

"I found her!" Kiba shouted suddenly. The blood was spread out in a wider area now, and underneath a tree lay the body of the girl. She lay belly down, and she looked the same as ever, blood and all.

"W-W-Who do you think m-moved her?" Hinata wondered. Kiba shrugged. "I don't know - what do they want with the girl's body anyway?" he grumbled. Akamaru yipped in agreement.

"W-Well she definitely d-didn't have some sort of rare j-jutsu," Hinata pointed out. "Since s-she has no ch-chakra network." Shino spoke up from beside her, "How do you think she survived with no network?"

Hinata shrugged while Kiba said, "Ehh, I'm sure Kurenai-sensei can figure it out." He grabbed under the girls arms and said, "Oi Shino, you lift the legs and we'll take her back to Kurenai-sensei." Shino adjusted his glasses, then held out his arms, his kikaichu flying out of his sleeves and surrounding the girls body. "Let me," he said indifferently.

Slightly miffed, Kiba let go of the girl and trailed behind Shino with Hinata as they made their way back to the clearing. They stepped over the bloodied bushes while Shino's kikaichu lay the body down and flew back to Shino.

Kakashi closed his book with a snap, placing it in his pouch. "So this is the girl then?" He said. Kiba nodded. "Yeah, but we still don't know how she got here," he replied. Kakashi crouched down beside the girl, studying her.

"She's got strange clothes, anyway, so she definitely isn't from around here," he noted. "S-should we take her b-back to the Ho-Hokage?" Hinata asked. Kakashi stood up again, and eye-smiled. "I believe he would be interested in her. Did you find anything else?" He asked, and Kiba and Hinata shook their heads no.

"Maa, let's go then." Without warning he grabbed onto the trio and, pulling them close, he shun-shinned back to the Hokage who looked up at them expectantly. Hinata stumbled towards the wall, using it to support herself while Shino swayed slightly and Kiba fell on his butt.

"D-Don't do that again!" Kiba shouted dizzily. Kakashi just chuckled. A moment later Kurenai appeared with the body. "Here is what- who we found Hokage-sama," she announced. The Hokage peered over his papers to examine the body. "Hm...is she dead?" He asked.

Kurenai nodded. "Hinata says that she has no chakra network in her body," she informed him. The Hokage's eyebrows rose. "None at all?" When Team 8 nodded, he puffed on his pipe deeply. "Get her to the hospital. We need to run tests on her body," he ordered. How did she survive that long with no chakra network? Maybe somebody ripped it out? But the various wounds around her body, including her neck, told a different story. He just hoped the medics could figure it out.

"Hai!" They chorused, and as Kakashi grabbed the body, Kurenai and Team 8 shun-shinned to the hospital with Kakashi appearing moments later. Immediatly one of the medics rushed up to them. "Hokage-sama wants a team of medics to examine this body," Kurenai informed her, and nodding, the medic took the body off Kakashi and rushed off, a group of medics peeling away from the crowds and following her.

"Maa, I think I've kept my team waiting long enough. Ja ne," Kakashi said and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Kurenai turned back to her team, who were staring at her quizically. "Well, let's get back to training then shall we?" She said with a smile.

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

I was dizzy. I was confused. There was a strange sensation of burning crawling up my limbs before I blacked out again.

* * *

There were distant shouts that sounded vaguely human. Who were they...? Not moving in the slightest, I realized the burning pain had disappeared to be replaced with a stabbing feel in my chest. Yet again, I blacked out.

* * *

Now there was some bullshit about coming into consciousness gently. Like sounds slowly melting into reality, gentle blinking of the eyes, all this. But it's not true! They lie! Everything rushed back to me at once: The pain in my neck most of all, and my chest and limbs, and that stupid headache that wouldn't go away!

Jerking, I sat upright quickly and felt something drift off my head, only to moan and clutch my head with one hand, the other clutching my stomach. It felt like I had swam in nettles or something, what with the stinging pain in my arms. My eyes, which had snapped open, squinted against the bright light and walls. Everything blurred and focused again, in rhythm with the pounding of my head.

After what must have been a few minutes, although they felt like an eternity, the pain in my head faded to a dull throb and I was able to take in my surroundings. I was in a bed, which was new to me. _So someone found me in the forest then..? _Was my first thought. My second was, _I wonder if they have coffee..._

There was a lack of anything around me; other than the bed which had a crisp white sheet that I realized had covered my head, there was nothing. Not a window, or a bedside table or anything. Just plain tiles and a bed, and IV's and the such sticking into me.

"Ahh..." I gasped quietly. I guess I must have went into shock or something after that accident - I mean, who turns into a fucking ghost? What was I smoking? - and had that weird dream of falling through the Earth, and waking up in a forest. Now someone probably called the ambulance and here I was, in hospital (I could tell by the bitter smell of anti-septic), about to be greeted by my friends and family!

After a few moments, nothing. "Huh." Was my intelligent reaction. Then again, why was there a lack of furniture in this room? Didn't really feel like a room for a patient, did it? Or maybe I was in a coma! I bit my lip. I better not have been out of it for, like, five years or something!

Scowling, I ripped out the tubes in my arms - always hated needles - and noted the lack of injury on my arms. _I guess they cleaned me up - wait, no shit, this is a hospital. I'm retarded._ I lifted the covers, glad to see I wasn't in one of those hospital robes that were open at the back, but I was in different clothes altogether. A white tunic or something that fell down to my knees, my scarlet hair splayed messily around me, but that was it.

"Huh," I said again. Then with horror, I realized someone had changed me. _Someone had seen me naked! _Noooo! I began blushing furiously. Oh god, kill me please! I was mortified. After a minute of panicking I calmed and decided on the best course of action.

_Well there isn't really much to do here, and that coffee ain't going to find itself! _"Alrighty!" I said out loud. "Commence operation: Get the hell outta the stinky room!"

Slowly, I shifted my body around until I my feet were on the ground and attempted to stand up. Even if I was a little shaky, I managed to stay upright. Noting the pain in my ribs at the movement, I peered down the neck of my robe-thingy only to grimace. My entire chest was littered with purple and yellow bruises. It looked like a fucking rainbow!

"Owie..." I moaned. I shuffled towards the door, my feet squeaking on the spotless tiles. Then I realized a lack of handles on my door. "Ehh?!" I cried out. All that was left was a groove! How the hell was I going to get to my coffee now? I grabbed the edges of the hole where the handle must have been and pulled. Nothing! "Shit..." I cursed softly.

Sudden inspiration hit me. Slowly, I pulled to my right...and the door opened. It was a _sliding _door. I blinked owlishly. "What the fuck?!" I swore quite loudly. "What the hell is a motherfucking _sliding door_ doing here? I'm not in Japan!" Then I realized that shouting and cussing wasn't the best idea. I peered to my right - and my left, learned my lesson from last time - and realized no one was there. Just an eerie silence.

I shuffled out of the room, shivering in the cool air. There were several door going down the pristine corridor; curious, I made my way over to the door nearest to me, beaming when I slide open the door. I don't know, it felt like an accomplishment not being beaten by a door. Aha! Take that doors! I bet you teamed up with Mr. Tree didn't you? Oh wait, Mr. Tree was in a dream...

I snapped myself out of my musings and stared into my room. "I can't see shit," I mumbled. The room was pitch black, as dark as my soul. Frowning, I entered the room and fumbled around the wall, searching for a light switch. After a moment of searching, my fingers brushed against something and the lights burst into life.

Wincing at the sudden attack on my retinas, I made out the shape of a body under the covers. Feeling apprehensive for whatever reason, I slowly walked over to the lump, and oh so slowly stretched my hand out and peeled off the sheet. I gasped and dropped it again.

Staring, unseeing eyes gazed up at me from a bone-white face, coldness radiating off of it. I stumbled backwards, my breathing coming quicker. A dead fucking body?! I was not expecting that! I ran - more like jogged - back out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Was...Was I in a morgue? Why? What? I glanced around at the other rooms, presumably filled with dead bodies too. And I was in the midst of them...why...? I looked down both sides of the corridor, before catching sight of a green sign hanging from the ceiling with an arrow on it pointing to the left.

I took off jogging towards it, frowning when I noticed the Kanji on it. "Maybe I am in Japan...?" I mused. Either way, right in front of me was a stair case, so I began walking up it. I noted how it got slightly warmer with every step I took.

I finally reached the top, and opened yet _another _sliding door. The sudden sound of chatting and talking hit me harshly and I winced. I took a few steps into the room, peering around cautiously. No one seemed to have noticed me - yet. I knew if I was caught the nurses would probably force me back into that room _surrounded by dead people_ and I definitely didn't want that, so I began weaving my way through the crows, wincing whenever someone would brush against my battered ribs.

After a few minutes of walking I found the exit. It was sunny outside - a sure sign I wasn't in my rainy hometown anymore. As I walked outside I shivered off the last of my cold and took in my surroundings a little more. Little children were running up and down the streets which were filled with stalls and people chattering happily to each other.

Dorothy was _definitely _not in Kansas anymore.

I decided to skip walking down the main road and chose to walk down the ally way to the left of me. Sure, walking away from the hospital when I was pretty badly injured wasn't really a good idea, but I never really had any good ideas so I just went with it.

Soon, after five minutes of enjoying the nice change in scenery, I checked myself over. Other than the robe, I had my wrist band that was a present from my dad and I never took off, so I was glad for that. Reaching up I felt around my ears and sighed in relief. They didn't take out my earrings! I had two small silver rings each lobe, and three studs on the upper shell of my left.

Looking to my left, I saw another alley. Looking to my right, I saw, gasp! Another alley. Was I lost? I looked behind me to an unmemorable alley. Yep, I was lost. In a place I had never seen before - I ignored that niggling feeling at the back of my mind that I _had_ seen this place before - and with no one I knew around.

...Was it still Monday?

Huffing irately I climbed up a large dumpster with some difficulty due to my ribs and peered over it. All that was there was a litte boring-looking garden. I glanced around and realized that I must be in a housing estate. Shit!

I jumped down and tried to land gracefully but I stumbled and fell. "Damn!" I grumbled, brushing myself off and getting up. _Huh, maybe someone can give me directions?_ I mused. I walked around the corner, down _another_ alley and found myself in front of a rundown looking apartments door. I glanced up. It must have been two or three stories high.

Sighing I made my way inside. There was an abandoned receptionist's desk in front of me and beside that a stairwell. I made my way up that, and hesitated at the first floor. _My outfit isn't exactly...modest, is it, _I thought dejectedly. Oh how I hated dresses...

I tugged down on the hem of the robe self-consciously and knocked at a random door. _Oh please oh please oh please don't let it be a guy..._

The door parted slightly, revealing sapphire blue eyes, amazingly blond hair - was it dyed? - and...a guy in a bright orange jumpsuit. Inwardly, I wailed. _Noo! Life hates me! Ah - please don't be a perv..._ Outwardly, I smiled nervously. "Erm, hi...?"

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

"Erm, hi...?"

Naruto blinked. He had been eating his lunch - ramen, surpise surprise - when there was a knock at the door. Thinking it was Sakura about to sucker punch him for being late for a team meeting (honestly, if Kakashi-sensei was going to be three hours late, it wasn't exactly unjustified to get a bit of grub was it?) he opened the door warily, ready to close it.

He blinked, staring at the girl in a white robe who was blushing slightly. "Ano...who are you?" Naruto asked bluntly. "Oh! - um, I'm Flynn. Flynn Ryder," she said quickly, and kept one hand on the bottom of her dress while the other ran through her blood-red hair.

"So! I'm kind of new here and I got lost, so can you give me directions to, um, the exit of this town...?" Naruto opened the door a bit further, glancing to her hair and piecing together the information in his mind.

He grinned. "Sure! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!" He said. She blinked, seemingly overwhelmed by his sudden friendliness, before she grinned back. "Nice to meet ya!" She chirped happily.

Naruto stepped out of his apartment, locked the door behind him before grabbing Ryder's hand and running down the stairs. "So Ryder-" he began, but she interrupted, "Ah, no, my name's Flynn?" Naruto stopped at the bottom of the stairs, turning back to her and scratching his head confusedly. "But you said your name was Flynn Ryder right?" She nodded. "Yeah, Flynn." Naruto shrugged it off. "Oh, well, my first name's Naruto, not Uzumaki," he told her.

He began running again with Flynn struggling to keep up with him. "So Flynn, what do you think of Konoha so far?" He asked. She was silent for a moment, before she shrugged slightly and said, "I don't know. I've been in hospital for god knows how long and haven't seen anything else." Her nose scrunched up and she stuck out her tongue. "You're not gonna make me go back are you? 'Cause it stinks in there," she grumbled.

Naruto laughed. "Nah, can't stand the place myself!" Flynn chuckled behind him, panting slightly, before asking, "Where are we going?" Naruto grinned at her, somehow managing to not run into anything even when he wasnt looking, "Well, let's go meet my team! We have a meeting - erm, had, our sensei is always late, so I thought I should introduce you to them!"

Flynn tilted her head. "Hahh...You know, you're awfully kind...hah..for a stranger," she said between pants. "Are we long lost relatives...hahh...or something and I've just forgotten you?" She questioned. Naruto snorted. "Nope, never seen you before in my life," he informed her, "and I just felt like it cause I have nothing better to do anyway, plus you seem nice too!"

Soon they had to stop at a bridge because Flynn needed to catch her breath - but coincidentally, it was where Sasuke and Sakura were waiting for him and their sensei. "Naruto! Why are you late- and who is this?" Sakura yelled at him, pointing to the girl who was panting heavily.

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan, Kakashi sensei still isn't here so no harm done right?" Naruto smiled sheepishly, only to get cuffed around the head by her. "Baka! You can't just go running off and bring back random girls! Isn't that right Sasuke-kun?" She went from growling to cooing sweetly pretty quickly.

"Hn." Was Sasuke's oh-so clever reply. "Who are you?" Sakura asked Flynn. "I'm..hahh..Flynn...Flynn Ryder. Or would it be Ryder Flynn?" she mused, and turned to Naruto. "Ano, second name goes first," Naruto responded to her gaze. "Ah. Ryder Flynn then," she told Sakura firmly, who just stared at her like she doubted her sanity.

"Eto...Anyways, I'm Haruno Sakura, and this is Uchiha Sasuke-kun!" She squealed, blushing. "Hn," was all the Uchiha said. Flynn huffed. "Can-can he speak or is 'hn' all he knows?" She asked Naruto, who promptly burst out laughing.

Sasuke bristled. "Yes, I can speak, obviously," he growled. Flynn just blinked at him. "Oh, should have said so sooner," she said flatly. "Don't speak to Sasuke-kun like that!" Sakura hissed at her, but she just shrugged her off.

An awkward moment of silence passed, before Flynn burst out, "I want pancakes!" Everyone turned to stare at her weirdly. "What? Pancakes. Enough said," she grinned. "...what are pancakes?" Naruto asked.

Flynn gaped at him. "What-what? You don't know want pancakes are?!" She grabbed his shoulders and began shaking him mercilessly. "You have not lived, lad, you have not lived!" She cried dramatically.

Sakura sighed. Another crazy person to deal with... Although at least she had her dearly beloved... "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed as he sighed. _Too cool..!_

The sound of footsteps reached their ears, and they all turned - except for Naruto, he was too dizzy - and saw Kakashi approaching, reading Icha Icha again.

"Yo, sorry I'm late but there was this old lady with groceries-" he began, but was cut off by a loud shout of, "LIAR!" from Naruto and Sakura. Just then Kakashi glanced up and froze at the sight of Flynn.

"You!" He growled.

"Me!" Flynn replied happily.

"Her?" Naruto pointed at his new friend in confusion.

"Hn." That was Sasuke's input.

"Sasuke-kun~!" Three guesses who said that.

Next thing they knew, Flynn was on the ground with Kakashi leaning over her and a kunai at her neck. "Who are you," he growled. "Ah-um - Ryder Flynn?" Flynn tried, only to have the kunai dug in further and a thin trickle of blood run down her neck.

"Ok, this is completely uncalled for!" Flynn whined. "Oi! Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing?!" Naruto exclaimed. "She is an enemy kunoichi who managed to sneak past the border," said man replied. "I'm a what now." Flynn deadpanned.

"Which village are you from? What's your purpose?" Kakashi questioned. "O-Ok, I'll answer you if you let me up!" Flynn cried - a kunai at one's throat was quite daunting. The only visible eye narrowed, obviously debating whether or not to let her up. Slowly, the kunai drew back from Flynn's throat and Kakashi drew back, but it was still out and ready to be thrown.

This was not fair! Jesus christ my ribs are killing me right now - and what did I do to warrant a knife..thing at my throat?! I sat up slowly, rubbing my stinging throat and glared at that man.

"Ok, I'm from Ireland-" no need to go into specifics now was there? "-and my purpose..." I thought back. "..um, to get better? I don't know, I was hit by a truck, my memory is a bit fuzzy."

The man glared at me, obviously not amused. "Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, get behind me," he ordered, and the three who had been observing the drama in front of them moved behind him, staring at me.

I glanced down. What, did I have something on my face? Just as I was rubbing my face (they were still staring at me, the creeps) he spoke again, "How are you alive?" I froze. "What."

"How are you alive?" He repeated. I looked up slowly, and stared him in the eye. "Are you retarded." I asked seriously. How am I alive? Are you kidding me? Someone didn't listen in class...

_Whistle!_

_Thud!_

I turned slowly around and stared hard at the knife implanted in the ground behind me. Was he trying to kill me?! The crazy bastard! "Don't mess around," he spat, "how are you alive? You don't have any chakra."

I eyed him carefully, shifting up into a crouch, wincing as my ribs protested. "What's...chakra?" I asked, eyebrows furrowing. Now _that_ I had definitely heard before...but where? Whenever I tried to grasp the memory it seemed to disappear...

"What's chakra? Have you been living under a rock your whole life?" Naruto exclaimed. I gave him a funny look. "No...just, what? I don't have chakra so I can't be alive?" My gaze shifted back to the guy with hair that never heard of gravity before. "So...any reason why you attacked me? 'Cause I'll sue you," I grumbled.

Silver, as I had nicknamed him, eyed me warily before dropping the defensive stance he was in. Then out of nowhere he was suddenly up close and personal. I squeaked as his hand shot out and snatched up my wrist.

"Oi - what the fuck man?" I cursed. "Stay still," he ordered. His fingers were in a position that one usually took when searching for a pulse, but they seemed hotter than normal-? No, not as in they looked nice, I mean that they were frikken' roasting! Did he go around poking lava or what?

He stood up and dragged me up with him (I definitely heard my ribs creak at that!) and said in a curt tone, "Stay here," before my whole world flipped upside down and around and oh my god what the hell-

Everything stilled suddenly and my legs gave out, so I was literally being held up by Silver. "Kakashi-san!"

I craned my neck up at a tall man striding over. He had a heavily scarred face and a weird bandana thing on his head. His gaze shifted from Silver to me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

He glared at me and I hastily stuck my tongue back into my mouth. Silver and Scar-y began conversing in low tones while I tugged - with no avail - to get my hand out of Silver's grip.

Suddenly Silver let go of my hand and I crashed to the floor, a pained yelp escaping my lips, and Scar-y leaned down and picked my up, tossing me over his shoulder. "O-Oi, lemme go bastard!" I hissed at him, beating at his lower back with my fists.

Scar-y continued on like he couldn't feel my attacks - he probably couldn't, I was weak as fuck - and began walking down a stairwell. I lifted my head up and mouthed 'Traitor!' at Silver who just poofed away. "Pff, shitty bastard, I can poof away too," I mumbled. "POOF!" I screamed suddenly.

"Aww, I could have sworn it would work," I pouted, crossing my arms and glaring at the steps as the passed under Scar-y's feet. After what felt like an age walking down steps I got bored.

"Hey, Scar-y, you guys got coffee?" I asked. No reply. "See, funny thing is, that's how I got here," I continued. He didn't reply, but I felt his head twitch slightly against my ribs - _ow. _So he _was_ listening! "Oh, but is it still Monday? I hope it's not Monday. Mondays suck. Like seriously, they are whores, twenty cents for an hour! Honestly, it should've listened in school more and it _might _have understood how babies are made and-" Scar-y jostled me roughly in an attempt to shut me up.

_My fucking ribs!_

I sighed. "I just wanted coffee~" I whined, and after a few seconds of nothing but footsteps reaching my ears I began singing. "But you didn't have to cut me off! Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing~ And I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough~" I sang. Sue me, I was bored and everyone sings when they're bored, right?

"Shut up brat," Scar-y growled beneath me. "Oh. Not a fan of Gotye then? How about Carly Rae Jepson? HEY, I JUST MET YOU! AND THIS IS CRAZY! BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER! SO CALL ME MAYBE!" I screamed/sang.

"Shut up!" He hissed, and jostled me again. "Ah, ok, how about some nice soothing metallica-?" I was cut off (again!) by the sound of a heavy door opening and then swinging shut behind us.

Scar-y put me in a chair and before I could get up again he shackled my wrists to the arms of the chair. I shook my arms about, frowning when the wouldn't budge. "Oh come on!" I sighed. Meanwhile Scar-y took place in between the door and me, and draw a scalpel of some sort out of the recess' of his tent- excuse me, jacket - and spun it around his fingers.

"Start talking." He said threateningly. "Ah - but I was talking before? Or would that count as singing? So I was singing instead? But I was talking in between-"

Scar-y's fist slammed down on the table and I jumped. "Where are you from?" He questioned. "Ireland!" I replied happily. His eyes narrowed. "Stop lying, I'm not a fool," he growled. I gaped at him. "Oh c'mon! I know Ireland's small but I didn't think there was someone who wouldn't know that it exists!" I gasped.

He raised a brow, but continued on, "Are you a spy from Iwa? Kiri?" I frowned at him. "Um...are...are those places from Japan? Cause I'm not from Japan, by the way," I felt compelled to point out. Next thing I knew there was a stinging in my left check and something silver was visible in the corner of my eye.

I gulped and eyed the scalpel which now rested less than a centimetre away from my head. This guy was not messing around then...

"What are your intentions in Konohagakure?" He asked again, completely unaffected by throwing a scalpel at a frikken' kid! Society these days!

"Um- I didn't come here intentionally, let it be said! But um..." Now how do you tell a guy you got hit by a truck, may or may not have hullicinated being in a forest and woke up surrounded by dead people?

"I had an accident and woke up in hospital, eh!" I told him, then winced. There it was, that annoying verbal tic I had when I was nervous or annoyed. "What kind of accident then? Found out by our ninja?" He grinned nastily at me.

I stared at him. And stared some more.

"What have you been smoking and where can I get some," I deadpanned after a moment. These people are just too weird for me... "Ninja? Seriously? Even I know they're just a child's tale. Sure, next thing you'll say is that your Oisín from Tir na Nog," I said tiredly. He probably would, if he was crazy enough to suggest ninja of all things.

Scar-y eyed me for a long terse moment. I pursed my lips, expecting a scalpel in the eye or something, so I blinked when he straightened up and rubbed his temple, muttering something under his breath that sounded like, "Kakashi-san was right when he said she knew nothing..."

I huffed. _I take offense to that Scar-y...and I need to stop calling you that. _"Yo, Scar-y, what's your name? Cause I doubt it's Scar-y," I said suddenly. He just looked at me before walking out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

"Oi! Bastard! Don't just leave me tied to a chair!" I shouted after him. "I'm a celebrity get me out of here?" I tried after that, to no avail. No scarred men or tents in sight. "Ah...ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli," I said in my best robot voice.

Nothing.

I began shouting random things at the door, cursing at it and staring at it but nothing appeared to work. Maybe it was a test? Maybe I had to befriend mister door?

I blinked, and realized something. "Hey! You're not a sliding door! So you're not on Mr. Tree's side are you?" I grinned. "Look, look! We're allies here buddy! Get me out of here and I'll oil you!" I sighed when Mr. Door didn't reply. Then again, I would be freaked out if he _did _reply.

I got bored of the silence easily and began trying to hold a conversation with Mr. Door again. "So once there was a salmon of knowledge..." I began, and I told him all the myths I knew of, Oisín of Tir Na Nog, Fionn and the Giant and so on.

"...and then Setenta promised him to be the new Cuchulainn!" I finished happily. "See, interesting things happen sometimes..." I trailed off. My throat was beginning to get sore. "Um, hey, can I get some water here or something?" When no one replied I huffed. "You have bad customer service! I give you one star! One!"

After another few moments, I sighed. This was gonna be a bad Monday wasn't it?

...I knew I should have stayed in hospital.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all your replies! =^.^= I never knew how awesome it was to get them! :3**

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**And thanks again to Mina'sMadness! Not Midna's. I was tired and sleepy when I wrote that, sorry. And to The Badger Congregation! God knows ye two are my muse! :D**  
**How come whenever I'm finished a chapter it's always late at night...?**  
**HALLELUJAH! MID-TERM! A WHOLE WEEK OF SLEEPING AND DOING NOTHING, TIS A WONDERFUL TIME INDEED! 8D**

**Question: How many of ye out there have ever played piano? Or have you ever wanted to play an instrument?**


	3. Flames of Youth - help

I sighed. My throat was killing me as I hadn't had water for God knows how long and I was _still_ shackled to this damned chair! "I swear, everything has teamed up with Mr. Tree..." I mumbled. "Uh - but not you Mr. Door!" I said quickly. I didn't want to offend my only ally in this place.

_It's ok, I'm not offended, _Mr. Door would have said if he could talk. I sighed again. "Really? Thank god for that!" I said in relief. Ok, I was going a bit crazy, but don't tell me you wouldn't get bored if you were in the same position for ages!

But there were a few things confusing me in this situation:

One, why would you even place a thirteen year old in an interrogation room in the first place? Two, why am I in frikken' _Japan _of all places? Three, why the hell amn't I hungry? I had been in here for a day, maybe, but I didn't even feel the slightest bit hungry, or felt the need to go toilet. It was so confusing.

I swung my feet to and fro, as they barely even brushed the ground, and began humming to myself. "The islands in the east are warm...Paina-purupuru...Their heads get really hot...And they're all idiots..."

My voice echoed back at me, the only sound in this damned place. My eye twitched. "HEEYYYYYY! GET ME OUT OF HERE! I HAVEN'T BURNT DOWN ANYTHING IN AGES, I SWEAR...YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!" I screamed...which only hurt my throat even more.

I rubbed my aching throat, frowning. What was I supposed to do? I had befriended Mr. Door, wasn't that the test? "Urrghhh..." I groaned. I felt like a zombie!

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

The Hokage's day had certainly been weird. First, that shock wave, then the body of a girl, then Kakashi reporting how the girl was walking around somehow. But one thing Kakashi had said kept replaying itself in his mind.

_"I had checked her wrist for a pulse, Hokage-sama, but there wasn't any and her skin was ice-cold. She is literally a dead body walking."_

And seeing as she didn't have any chakra networks to speak of, she wasn't an Edo Tensei summoning, as the summoner would use the soul of someone who could use jutsu.

_Then why is she alive?_ He pondered. Or, _how_ was she alive - if you could even call it being alive. The medics had informed him that she had several injuries: her ribs were cracked and her arms had several torn muscles and ligaments in them, as well as her legs. They had fixed the body up to the best of their abilities, but they weren't able to fix some vital organs, like her heart or stomach, which remained in pieces, apparently.

Currently, the girl was being held in one of the interrogation rooms. Ibiki had mildly interrogated her (only one scalpel - it was an accomplishment for Ibiki not to permanently scar someone...) and found that she wasn't an enemy kunoichi and from a place called "Are land*".

Honestly, if it wasn't for the whole 'zombie-person-who-shouldn't-be-moving' thing he would just wait for her to get better and let her stay as a civilian (wouldn't want her to get captured and tortured for information by enemy shinobi, now) but he couldn't.

It was, as Shikaku would say, troublesome. Based on all of the information Ibiki and Kakashi had gathered, the girl had no chakra, didn't even _know _what chakra was, and wasn't from any of the five great nations - Ibiki would know if she lied, he was an expert. Maybe she was from one of those Western countries? But they hadn't had contact in centuries, and she knew the language...**

He sighed. This was giving him a headache! What was he to do? Some of the medics were itching to run tests on the girl, seeing as she was a medical miracle, but that would be unfair to her. She was young, as young as a genin, and it'd be cruel to force her through tests like a lab rat.

Maybe he should place her under watch - yet the girl certainly wasn't a threat to the village so it would be a waste of ANBU... Well, they would definitely have to found out how she was moving, although not through tests, but how?

_Maybe she is some form of experiment...? Like a mutation of the Edo Tensei jutsu? _He pondered. He wouldn't put it past Orochimaru to force some poor child's soul into a body with no chakra coils. _So we'd have to keep an eye on her, in case she is bound to Orochimaru's will like normal Edo Tensei summons and attacks someone. We'd need someone capable of keeping her under check if she _does_ go crazy..._ He sighed. That poor poor girl.

"ANBU." The Hokage called, and a bird-mask wearing ANBU appeared. "Can you fetch the messenger hawk?" "Hai." With that, the ANBU flashed away. Hiruzen pulled out a scroll, a brush and an ink pot.

_'Dear Maito Gai...'_

The Sandaime sighed again, an action that was becoming a bad habit. That poor girl would have to endure the Flames of Youth...

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

I let out a low groan. There was nothing to do in this place! It was frikken' spotless, and other than the table, chair and myself there was nothing! Nothing! Mr. Door had been giving me the cold shoulder after I tried flirting with him (could have sworn I had muffled laughter coming from behind one of those walls) and now I was attempting to beat box. Although that was rather hard seeing as how I had to lean down to get my fist to my mouth, and the sound came out rather muffled.

After my third attempt, I gave up. "I'm going crazy in here!" I moaned. "Talking to doors, hearing things...Honestly, just give me some coffee! It's all I wanted~" My head slumped forward. Might as well take a quick nap right?

But fate seemed to hate me - or love me, it was hard to tell - and the sound of Mr. Door opening brought me back to my senses, and I raised my head excitedly. "Mr Door, have you decided to accept my lo-oove?" My voice trailed off as I was met with the sight of an old man who was flanked by two mask-wearing guards.

"...I've been expecting you, Mr. Bond," I said in my best villain voice. The man just chuckled! "So are you here to tell me that I'm not from Ireland again and throw pointy things at me?" I asked wearily. I've learned that you can never ever trust old men - they're either freakishly strong like Bumi or creepy kidnappers!

"No, I'm afraid not," he said, smiling. "ANBU?" He said suddenly. The two men - women maybe, I couldn't tell - disappeared, and suddenly my wrists were free. I stood up, stiff from sitting there for ages, and muttered a few curses as my ribs ached.

"Follow us." I squeaked and spun around - the two mask fetish people were behind me! Stupid magicians, always magicking behind me! They stared at me indifferently as I shuffled backwards, keeping my eyes on them. Maybe they were Weeping Angels? I blinked, and they were still there. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I would not have been able to handle Weeping Angels!" I said as I pivoted on my heel to face the old man - and the guards. "Eh-?" I looked behind me, and the guards were gone. "Fricken' magicians..." I mumbled under my breath.

"Come," the old man said, and walked out of this room, while the guards remained impassive. To stop me attacking the old man from behind, I suppose. I shuffled after him, weary of my ribs hurting me again.

We walked in silence down the corridor, until we reached the stairwell. "Aww, what? We're gonna have to climb all of these stairs? Seriously? That's so gay..." I moaned. I didn't fancy the idea of aggravating my injuries anymore than they already were, thanks.

"Are you tired already? And you're younger than me!" The man laughed. "N-No...pfft...this is nothing.." I mumbled. _Oh god, you know you're pathetic when you get given out to by old men!_

I walked behind the old man on the staircase, leaning heavily on the banister. Each step jarred my ribs and made me wince. I glared at the sign that was mocking me. 5 more flights to go...

"Hey, what's your name then?" I asked to break the silence. "Hmm? I'm Sarutobi Hiruzen, and you, young lady?" Replied..Hiruzen. Ha! Silly people, thinking you can fool me with your weird way of talking! "I'm Ryder Flynn." I said.

"Ryder Flynn eh?" Old man Hiruzen seemed confused. "That's a strange name - you're definitely not from around here are you?" I rolled my eyes. "As I have stated before, no, I'm not from Japan. Although it's not really a common name in Ireland either..." I mused.

After what felt like an hour we reached the lobby of the building I was in. It was pretty plain, barely any furnishings. Well, I don't think torture was _supposed_ to be comfortable...

A billowing tent/coat caught my attention. _No way...is that-?_ I spun around, grinning like a mad man. I waved my hand enthusiastically. "Hey! Scar-y! It's me!" I called. He twitched visibly, turning his head around enough to glare at me. And walked on. The bastard ignored me!

Attempting to hold back my pout - and failing - I followed Old man Hiruzen out of the... I looked around for a sign. Where was I anyway? I saw a sign - that was in Japanese. Great! Just great - I'm stuck in a place I don't know, with people who like to mess with me, and I can't even tell where I'm going!

I huffed. _Shit!_ I jogged to catch up with Hiruzen who had walked off without me - probably forgot about me, senile old man - and walked quietly behind him, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my back instead of constant downpour.

"So where are we anyway?" I asked, breaking the silence again. Old man Hiruzen stopped, blinking at me incredulously. "You...don't know?" He asked, eyebrow raised. "Even though we came out of 'Konoha's Intelligence and Torture Building'?" I felt sweat drip down my neck. _So...I was being...mindfucked - erm, tortured? Konoha...? Wha- oh right, Japan...Oh gods, I have to bullshit! _"Well, um...I-I'm kind of embarrassed to admit, but I'm..um...dyslexic," I lied, blushing out of nerves and scratching my head. I just hoped I resembled an embarrassed girl - would I fool him?

"Oh, well why didn't you say so?" Hiruzen laughed. "Sorry, you're in Konohagakure, in Hi no Kuni." "Konohagu-Konagak-Konoha?" I stuttered, shit was hard to pronounce. He nodded. "Yes, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, one of the five great nations."

"Oh, Scar-y mentioned those! Um...Iwan and Kira?" I piped up, trying to remember the other countries Scar-y mentioned. Hiruzen nodded again, smiling at my attempt. "There is Iwagakure, Kirigakure, Sunagakure, Konohagakure and Kumogakure, the five Hidden Villages, and other countries too." He told me. I went through the information in my head, realizing that he hadn't told me anything I could use to possibly harm anyone - smart man.

Of course, I could hardly blow up these 'gakures' now could I?

While the thought was amusing, I wouldn't want to become the Osama Bin Laden of Konoha, having the FBI breaking into my place while I'm eating my cookies. Illegally hoarded, of course, but cookies nonetheless.

Ah, I was going too far into this wasn't I? My gaze eventually wandered from the _very _interesting back of one Old Man Hiruzen, and to the shops that surrounded us on both sides. There were bakeries, selling pastries I had never seen before (I saw colourful balls on a stick...I must try it!) and others that were weapon shops, apparently, if the weird knife things, throwing-stars, swords and whatnot were anything to go by.

_So...This place has weapons and an Interrogation Centre, presumably a military force in Konoha then. And most likely in the other gakures too. These Five Great Nations - what made them great? Size? Hardly. So it would have to be something impressive, something that would rank it higher on the danger scale..._ I gulped, one conversation with Scar-y in mind.

_'What kind of accident then? Found out by our ninja?'_

Oh yes. Ninjas. Those tended to be dangerous... But it was bullshit! Ninja didn't exist! There were hardly nations of ninja now - were there? _No_, I told myself firmly, _you're just thinking too far into things! Sure, they have weapon shops and they probably have armies, but that - ninja? Is that the best you could come up with now?_

I eyed Hiruzen in front of me. I would have to ask him if I wanted answers, but that could wait. "Yo, Old Man Hiruzen!" I called, causing him to look at me over his shoulder...while still walking and managing not to crash into anything. Everyone in this place had that special ability! I'd probably trip over nothing - hell, I do that even with both eyes ahead of me.

"Where are we going?" I asked. This caused him to hum in thought and face forward again. I waited for his answer; I could be patient sometimes. "Well, there are certain...things, we need to check out, Flynn-san, so I'm placing you on a squad with one of our jounin, and we're going to the meeting place now," he replied.

"Hm...Okay!" I chirped, finding no flawed reasoning behind that. I mean, strange girl gets dragged of to T&I? Place her under watch! Yes, I did know I was being placed under watch, but I couldn't see the reason why, actually. I mean, was Konoha just paranoid or was there another factor I was missing? I was only thirteen for god's sake, what could I do?

After another few minutes, we reached an empty enough space, with worn looking targets and dummies here and there, fenced off with mesh wire and a sign with "22" on it, and some kanji. _Must be a training ground or something, _I reckoned.

And when I say empty enough, I mean four other people stood in the middle. One was the tallest, a man...with a monstrosity of a haircut...with a leotard? And there seemed to be a mini-monster beside him, looking identical down to those fuzzy eyebrows.

There was a girl too, to my relief, with two buns and boyish enough clothes. I decided I liked her on the spot. And then there was another...girl? Boy? Okama? With these weird ass eyes, he looked blind! But if how he was glaring at the Green Beast duo was any sign, he wasn't. But his _hair..._ Oh my god it looked really soft!

I suppose, eventually, they had stopped their bickering (as mini-green beast was yelling something happily to Princess boy) as they had heard our approach. "Team Gai," Old Man Hiruzen greeted. "Hokage-sama," the four chorused back at him, and I could _feel _their gazes and they stared at me. I stared back.

"Ah, Hokage-sama! So this is the youthful girl you were telling me about?" Green Beast mega asked...declared? It felt like a declaration. Hell, his teeth even _sparkled_. More life hax I suppose.

"Indeed she is, Gai. Ryder Flynn, meet Maito Gai-" He gestured to Green Beast mega, who struck a pose, "-Rock Lee-" He gestured to mini-Green Beast, who took up the same pose as his Mega, "-Hyuuga Neji-" Princess boy stared at me impassively, "-and Tenten." He finished, pointing to the girl, who smiled and waved at me. I waved back, grinning. "Team Gai, meet Ryder Flynn."

"Yo." That was my greeting. In an instant, my sight was blocked by eyebrows. "Yosh! Let us run one thousand laps around the Village and let our flames of youth burn bright! " He declared passionately. I took a step back, bracing myself from the crazy. "Yeah, sounds great, but no," I declined quickly.

Tenten glared at Lee, whacking him over the back of the head. "No need to scare her Lee!" She reprimanded. I grinned at her. "I like you!" I told her, to which she smiled at. "Likewise." I looked over at Princess boy. "Hi!" I greeted, only to meet a cold stare.

"Oh-Oh ok then, teaming up with Mr. Door are you! I swear everything here's against me..." I grumbled, causing Princess to give me a weird look - while still looking angry - and Lee and Gai to laugh. I repressed a shudder - Oh lord those laughs were terrifying.

"I will leave it to you Gai," Hiruzen smiled, shuffling off to do whatever old men do, I suppose. There was about a second of awkward silence before Gai's booming laughter rang out. "Flynn-chan! Let us run twenty warm-up laps around Konoha in the name of youth!" He cried, and I shook my head furiously.

"Oh hell naw, I'm - I'm allergic to exercise - no, what are you doi- _no don't drag me into this no no what are you I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE AAAGHHH!"_

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(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

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I collapsed, panting like a dog on the ground after about 10 laps. I liked to think I had stamina - _some _at least - but really...that Monster Duo were terrifying! They were on their thirty something-th lap while I was on my seventh. Either they were amazingly fast, or I was slower than I thought. I was leaning towards the former.

I moaned as my body ached all over, my ribs not the only part of my body hurting like hell now. Hurray. But what was worse was that it was going to be so much more painful tomorrow. Curse you Gai and your youth! I swear I was going to have nightmares of green spandex and eyebrows.

I rolled over onto my front, pushing myself up onto my knees with sore arms. I frowned. Surely my arms shouldn't hurt that much? _It wasn't like I was walking on my hands... _The screams of youth and to green blurs passing by me drew my attention. _...like the Monster Duo._

Maybe now I could go home and sleep, have a shower? I froze were I sat. Shit - I didn't exactly have a home here did I? Where was I going to sleep? I thought hard about that.

The Monster Duo were out of the question, they probably sleep-youth. Princess boy...if the glares I received from him were anything to go by, he didn't exactly want to get friendly with me. Tenten maybe? She seemed more plausible, being the only sane one here and a girl too. Ah, but I've just met her! _Just explain your situation to her, I'm sure she'll understand, _some voice at the back of my head said. I scoffed mentally.

'Hello! Yes I may only have known you for a few hours, but can I crash here for tonight?'

No way! So where -? An image of a certain friendly orange-menace sprang to mind. Naruto! Naruto wouldn't mind, Naruto was chill. With that in mind, I got up and hollered over my shoulder, "See ya tomorrow!" before walking (read: limping) off towards the vague direction where I was pretty sure Naruto lived. Maybe. Hopefully.

It was evening time and the setting sun was casting oranges and reds into the sky. It was pretty. There was less children running about now, and a few adults picking up some last-minute groceries, while I walked through the village towards my showe-Naruto. It was nice, peaceful.

I let out a sigh of relief as the rickety apartment came into view. I dragged my ass up the stairs and knocked on his door. It was flung open immediately and I was squashed by orange. "Flynn-chan! I was so worried where were you why did sensei drag you off like that oh my god are you ok-" I flailed pathetically, managed to clip Naruto on the nose and shut him up. "Ca'-bre-he" I gasped, turning blue.

"Oh, sorry!" He yelped, dropping me like I was hot. I gasped for sweet sweet air and stood up once more. "Um.." I shuffled on my feet, running a hand through my hair which was like a bird's nest.

"C-Can I stay here -eh? I don't mean to intrude, I just don't have anywhere else to stay." I asked. Naruto blinked once, twice, then beamed. I swear the room grew a little brighter. "Sure Flynn-chan! I've got a futon here somewhere!" He grinned, and I smiled in relief. "Thanks mate," I said, and hugged him. Cause hugs are awesome, hugs are life, hugs are necessary. I like hugs.

I let go after a moment and stepped into his apartment, closing the door behind me. My eyes scanned the room, taking in the junk. Everywhere. "...nice place." I commented eventually. Naruto huffed. "Hey, I'm letting you stay here, you can't say anything."

I shrugged. "True." I agreed. "Stay right there!" He told me, and dashed off into another room, and I examined the one I was in. It was pretty bare for someone's home. Although most of the ground and tables were covered in empty ramen cups. Go figure, Naruto has a fetish for ramen.

I wandered off in the direction Naruto left in, and found myself in what was presumably his room. It was _slightly _neater than the room I just left: there was a poster with a funny looking symbol on it (weren't they on the bandana things people wore around here?) and on the bed-side table there was a picture of Duckbu- erm, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and Silver. They looked pretty happy in the picture - except for Duckbutt and Naruto who were glaring at each other.

Naruto finished setting up the futon beside me, blanket and all, and I grinned at him. "Thanks!" I said, and proceeded to belly-flop on this fluffy magical thing. "Eh, no problem," Naruto responded sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hmm...what time is it?" I asked. Naruto glanced at the clock he had. "Half ten," he told me. I yawned. "Well, I normally go to bed around 11, sometimes 4, but today has been one of the weirdest and I'm surprised I'm still conscious." I told him.

After Naruto got dressed (I hid my head in my blanket, I was not a perv!) and turned the lights out, we sat in silence for a moment, before he asked, "Flynn-chan, where do you come from?" I blinked at the random question.

"Ah, a place full of wonder, magic, and non-stop rain," I drawled. "It's so boring there...nothing interesting _ever _happens..honestly..." My eyelids were beginning to droop. "Ehh...then finally...the most interesting thing...happened there...was..mmm..." I drew off into a slur, and gave into sleep. I didn't have to really tell my new friend that I may or may not have been on drugs and woke up on the wrong side of the world right?

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Ok, generally, my dreams are pretty weird. Usually. But mostly smooth, and random, and...well, not this.

I was surrounded by stars. Every. Fucking. Where. These things were just twinkling and sparkling as if they were taunting me. There didn't seem to be a path under my feet, either, but when I took a step there was a ripple in the air, like I was walking on water.

Strange, this is the first time I dreamed about being Jesus.

Also, nothing seemed to be consistent. Instead of walking on a level surface, I would be walking up suddenly, but it wasn't like walking up a hill, more like being pulled upwards by something you couldn't feel. And I would go down suddenly, but I couldn't _feel_ it, it felt like I was walking normally, and my surroundings just shifted up and down.

Where was I? I wasn't exactly unconscious, and I was very aware of my movements. 'Hello?' I tried to call out, but my mouth wouldn't move. And yet, the faintest echo could be heard. Strange.

Out of nowhere, chilling laughter rang out. It felt like it filled this entire void, and shook my to my core. 'Who's there?' I attempted screaming, but to no avail. The laughter just grew louder. In the distance, I could see something white. Something out of place with this dimension.

I kept walking at the same pace, but it seemed to rush up to me terrifyingly fast. I froze where I stood, and squeezed my eyes shut as it would obviously crash into me. _Kind of like with the truck..._ I thought randomly.

When I didn't feel any pain one would feel when something crashed into you, I hesitantly opened my eyes. My mouth fell at the sight before me. The white thing I saw was a throne. Made out of pure white skulls, with chains wrapping around the structure. On top of it sat a terrifying...humanoid...giant..thing.

He was jet black with white highlights, like a skeleton. He had bone white hair which framed blood-red eyes which seemed to glow. He had blood which trickled down the chains, and a three-bladed scythe was resting on the side. His head was lying on one fist while the other was draped over the arm of the chair casually. He was smirking widely, sharp teeth glinting.

'Who...are you -eh?' I asked, but as my earlier attempts proved no sound came out, yet he seemed to smirk wider at my question.

"Foolish heathen!" His voice boomed, dark and malicious. "You may call me Kami-sama, or as my devoted followers call me...Jashin."

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**A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to upload...Please forgive me D: But here you go! Third chapter! And be honest, who knew that Jashin was coming up?**

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Cookies for everyone! *rains cookies***

**So, leave a comment on why you liked/hated it down below, I appreciate it a lot! :3**

**Ah...it is Monday tomorrow...kill me =.= **

***Yes, that is how you pronounce Ireland. Some people pronounce it "I-are-lind" and it pisses me off for no reason...idk you can't judge me!...**

**** That shall be explained in good time!**

**Also, Mina'sMadness, does that answer your question? xD**

**R/R people! It gives me inspiration and rainbows and stuff! :3**


	4. Jashinism isn't everyone's cup of tea

**A/N: Dammit! Seeing as I forgot last three chapters, cause I'm smart like that shut up, here's the disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: The idiot you see here doesn't own Naruto, only Flynn. And that dream-verse.**

**Oi! I made you! I am your creator! BOW DOWN FOOLISH MORTAL.**

**Edit: Yep, changed the rating slightly - this isn't gonna be all humour ya know! And I added Jashin in the characters, cause he is a pretty big part of this story. **

**I do forget these things a lot, sue me! -.-"**

**Warning: Slight gore. Maybe. Mentions of blood. Torture - as in, getting up with the sun. **

**I'm so cruel.**

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_"Foolish heathen!" His voice boomed, dark and malicious. "You may call me kami-sama, or as my devoted followers call me...Jashin."_

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(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

I had to crane my neck to look up at Jashin. The fella was fucking _huge. _Around five times my height, I swear. Never mind that this was (supposed to be) a dream, I was terrified shitless. He just had an aura of...death around him.

"Are..you a God -eh?" I asked silently, noting how my lips didn't work no matter how much I willed them to. He seemed to be able to hear me somehow...or my thoughts. Is he a mind reader?! Quick don't think dirty thoughts!

...damn it.

Jashin just smirked even wider at me. "I am the God of Pain and Suffering, heathen," he said in that deep voice. I squinted up at him. "Do I call you Jashin or Kami-sama then? 'Cause the way you said that sounds like there's more gods...please tell me there aren't more gods."

The smirk dropped suddenly and the fist that propped up his head dropped and clenched the end of the arm of the bone-throne, and Jashin leaned forward until his eyes were in front of me, blazing in anger. I gulped and flinched at the suffocating Killer intent that flowed forth suddenly.

"It's Jashin-_sama," _He hissed, and I nodded hastily. "R-Right, yeah, Jashin-sama, sorry," I squeaked. Then he leaned back and smirked as if nothing happened. Dammit.

I let out a sigh of relief as the pressure in the air dropped. "So, um, Jashin-sama, why am I here?" I asked. I really hoped I didn't drink something funny. My brows furrowed as a thought came to me. "In fact...why am I in this world? Universe? I - wasn't I killed by a truck?" I added (I pushed that tiny part of me that whispered _you're dead, you should be panicking right now _away) uncertainly.

Jashin's booming laughter rang out again as he threw his head back and laughed - hopefully not at my expense. When he got over that, he grinned wickedly at me. "Well," he began nonchalantly, "I thought that life here was a bit too boring for me. And so I looked over at another world, and I see someone with an equally boring life! (_Yeah, a crazy god and a 13 year old can relate..sure)_ So I think to myself, 'What would happen if I add some weakling from a different world to this one?' So with divine intervention, I killed you!" He said happily. Nice to know my death made the God happy, so nice.

"And just as your spirit lost it's connection to it's world, and before it gained it's connection to the afterlife, I interfered and sent you here!" I tried to digest this information. So, I died...because Jashin-sama was bored? "I died because you were bored?" I echoed my thoughts blankly. He seemed to ponder it for a moment before nodding. "Pretty much."

My head hung. "Wow." I sighed, and another thought came to me - seemed to get a lot of them lately. "Wait, if you took my _spirit _and put it here, why do I have a body -eh?" I asked.

"Hmm? Oh, that was child's play. I just created a carbon copy of your old body and placed your spirit in it - even if it was pretty messed up after that crash. You're lucky that you're already dead." He replied, with a raised eye-brow.

"Wait - what? My body...this body has been hit by a truck and is still working? Wh- but how-?!" I cried, my arms flapping around to indicate my stress, although I probably resembled a retarded chicken.

The raised brow raised higher. "I'm a God." He deadpanned. Comprehension dawned on me. I suppose sticking a soul in a body that should have stopped functioning and getting it to work was nothing to him...

"Oh...wait. I'm dead -eh?!" I yelped, the last part of that statement registering. Jashin-sama just smirked at me. Probably enjoyed watching me panic.

My mind shut down for a bit.

_How does that even work oh my god I'm dead in a body that should have stopped working ages ago and now I am conversing to a God in my dreams who just told me he killed me and threw me into another universe because he was bored I am so confused oh my God - Jashin - help! _

And bounced back in full panic mode. I would have probably been hyperventilating if I could move my lips. "Oh, and did I mention that most of your vital organs are crushed?" He added cheerfully - or as cheerfully as he could get while still maintaining the deadly aura.

"What."

"Yep! Your heart was torn in half, your left lung has ripped, your stomach was reduced to mush, your bladder exploded, I think, your intestines are scrambled..."

"O-Ok! I get the message Jashin-sama -eh!" I interrupted. It was rather unnerving to hear that your insides are all messed up. "So...if my stomach is in pieces and my bladder is...exploded...does that mean I don't have to eat or go to the toilet anymore?" I asked curiously. It would explain the T&I thing.

Jashin-sama nodded. "But the only downside is that you can't eat food - unless, of course, you want it to rot it your body and attract flies," he added that little part, and I twitched. "Ok, no eating, no going toilet...um, anything else?" I asked, still dizzy after taking in the fact that _I was dead and in a dead body with dead organs_ and to my surprise (and dread) Jashin nodded.

"I've also had to supress your memories. Wouldn't want you to give away that you know too much, right?" He grinned-slash-smirked. I vaguely wondered how he could pull that off. "Supressed memories?" I echoed after him, lost.

"Aa. But now, time to have a little pain!" Jashin snapped his fingers, and it felt as if someone let a fire in my head. I fell to my knees, clutching my head and squeezing my eyes shut as memories began springing up painfully.

Sitting down after a long day at school to watch one of my favourite animes, Naruto.

Placing my Akatsuki plushies all over my bedroom.

Watching as Naruto therapy-jutsu'd Gaara.

Crying as the Akatsuki members died.

Flashes of Shippuden and Sai, Naruto, Sakura, Yamato, Tsunade, Lee, Kiba and others.

The Kage Summit being interrupted by a certain Uchiha.

Oh. _Oh. _Oh my - I looked up at Jashin who was smirking more widely than before at me, and realised that I was talking to _the _Jashin-sama. "You...well. Shit." I said rather meekly. Jashin just laughed at me.

"So...currently, I'm in the Naruverse...which shouldn't frikken' exist but does -eh?" I said incredulously. "And that wish I made after I died...came true? Well _fuck!" _I swore.

And another realisation came to me - I was getting a lot of those wasn't I? "Well, doesn't this mean I'm a Jashinist now? Because I know Jashin-sama exists and stuff?" I wondered idly. "Afraid so, heathen. Welcome to the one true religion!" Jashin snickered with an evil undertone.

"There's...no backing out of this, is there?" I sighed.

"Nope."

"...well damn."

Movement caught my attention. Looking up, I watched dumbly as Jashin grabbed the gleaming scythe that was beside him. It had three wicked looking blades with kanji running along the edges, shortening from top to bottom...and they were heading towards me fast!

Before I could do anything there was a _squelch! _as the smallest of the blades speared my body, tearing through my entire torso. My mouth popped open in surprise when I didn't die immediately - even if it _was _a dream.

I registered a burning sensation flowing through me, followed by what felt like ice running in my veins and painful jolts, and as I stared at my chest black kanji ran from the blades and around my body, glowing white before fading away into my skin. Just as suddenly as the pain came it stopped, replaced with numbness.

Jashin-sama gave me a shit-eating grin and yanked the scythe back out of me, sending me skidding across the ground on my side as I was carried by its momentum. I huffed and sat up, noting the huge ass gaping hole in my chest.

"Now that you're a Jashinist, you are immortal," he informed me. I presumed that the pain I just felt was my conversion, probably.

"What I just did there was your initiation to Jashinism. Meaning that if you commit sacrilege you will be vaporized instantly, immortal or no."

...I knew he was a fucking mind reader.

"Well, seeing as how you are pretty much immortal already the rules change a bit. As most of your nervous system has been shot to hell, you can't really register high levels of pain, although there are parts in your body that will react normally, as if you were alive. So while this immortality doesn't come with immunity to pain, you won't feel most of it.

"But as you are only a recent member of Jashinism, the immortality is watered down. You cannot die through starvation, being stabbed through the heart or other vital organs or by bleeding to death, but you can die from dehydration, old age - which is past two hundred years - and decapitation.

"To get fully fledged immortality, you must sacrifice more heathens. About a thousand. I trust you know how to sacrifice them, yes?" He said, and I nodded. "Yeah, I get the...sacrifice's blood..." Damn did that sound weird and wrong to say. "...and ingest it, then draw your symbol in my blood 'n stab myself in the heart. Boom. They're dead." I answered.

But the way Jashin smirked made me think that there was a catch. "Am I missing something?" I wondered. "Yes, actually. You need to learn the Curse jutsu to sacrifice the heathens. And only one other Jashinist knows it." I gulped. "Um, care to tell me who?" I asked meekly. "Now where would be the fun in that?" He grinned. Damn. I knew who it was but I was in denial. No way was I seeking _him _out, the crazy bastard...

"You'll be needing this," Jashin interrupted my thoughts, and a chain necklace with the symbol of Jashin appeared on the ground in front of me with another click of his fingers. I took it, examining the gleaming metal, before attaching the clasp at the back of my neck, the rosary now hanging from me.

"Um, Jashin-sama? Will...I still have the necklace when I wake up?" I asked. And there it was, Jashin's Evil Smirk in full force. "Everything inflicted on you here will stay with you in your waking hours, yes," he replied, snickering.

And then I realised I went from being an atheist to a Jashinist in a single dream.

"Night night~" Jashin cackled, "I'll be seeing you again!" The ground beneath my feet suddenly grew cracks and shattered, sending me cascading down into nothingness as his laughter rang in my ears.

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

I jerked to consciousness as the dim dawn burned my retinas. Shielding them from the pale light, I realised that I was panting hard and beads of sweats were gathering on my forehead.

_A nightmare...?_

Looking over, I saw Naruto was still asleep. I had to 'aww!' at him because he was snuggling his pillow, snoring softly. _Oh my god I am in THE Uzumaki Naruto's house! I've just had a sleepover with THE Uzumaki Naruto oh my Jashin! Suck it fangirls! _I crowed mentally.

My hand wandering to my neck, I found that the necklace Jashin-sama gave me was still there. "So it was real..." I muttered.

I let out a groan at the agony in my joints. Working with Gai...urgh, the youthfulness _kills_! I let out a shudder at the memory of green before massaging my cramped thighs. _Owowowow!_

And I froze as I realised something. Hesitantly peeking down the top of my robe I saw that the hole in my chest was still there! I groaned when I realised I'd have to get it bandaged and stitched up. I was just glad it wasn't spraying blood everywhere, although a bit of blood was staining my already dirty clothes.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eye. I had two options: 1. Go back to sleep (really tempting seeing as how it was only 7 am) and let Naruto see the huge hole in my chest and have to explain, or 2. Leave the warm, comfy bed and leave a note explaining where I went to avoid any awkward scenes.

I sighed. I needed coffee for this...

I threw the covers off me, which landed in a muffled _thump _to my right, and stood up, stretching. I looked down at my white robe with disdain, noting how I was wearing it for over a day. _I need a shower,_ I decided. _But I don't have any clothes to change into..._ I bit my lip. Fuck it, I'll just take some of Naruto's and buy him some more later. I grabbed a shirt and a pair of three-quarter lengths before I left the room, closing the door behind me quietly.

I took me a few minutes to find the shower, and I hopped in the hot water, scrubbing off the dirt from the last few days. I dried myself off and patted my hair down with a towel, leaving it damp. I pulled on black shorts which would have fallen down if not for the belt, and a bright orange t-shirt which fell down mid-thigh. _I mean, I know I'm kind of small but this is ridiculous! _I thought dejectedly.

I decided to throw the robe in the bin, it was too filthy (and slightly blood-soaked) to wear again. Moving through the empty ramen cups I found a pencil and a piece of paper and began writing.

'_Hey Naruto!_

_Sorry for leaving before you woke up, but I couldn't go back to sleep and you looked too peaceful (you were hugging your pillow and mumbling Sakura's name...you pervert) so I decided to leave you be._

_And sorry for taking your clothes! I couldn't wear that white dress thing, it was way too dirty. I promise to buy you some more shit when I get money ok?_

_Thanks for letting us sleep here!_

_Flynn.'_

I scanned the note, and deemed it acceptable before leaving it on the table for Naruto to find. I left the apartment, and scowled at the sun which was barely over the horizon. _It's too early..._

I shoved my hands in my pockets, absently wandering through Konoha's streets, shivering as the warm breezed rustled my damp hair. What did I need? Clothes, money, that big-ass wound that should have killed me in my chest stitched up...I sighed. I suppose the wound would have to be dealt with first.

I hoped the nurses and doctors didn't notice I was that one body in the morgue..."Oh!" I exclaimed suddenly, earning funny looks from the shopkeepers that were opening up. _That _would explain why I woke up surrounded by dead bodies! The doctors thought I was one...which I actually was. I forgot about that.

_Hmm...where _is _the hospital...? Ah, sure, if I keep wandering I'll come across it quickly...right? Right! _

About forty minutes later I arrived at my destination in a bad mood. "Fucking finally..." I growled under my breath.

As soon as I entered the building the smell of antiseptic was horrible and stung my nose. "Urgh.." I groaned, covering my nose and continuing forward bravely. I walked up to reception and tapped on the desk to get the nurse's attention.

"Yo, can I get a check up?" I asked. Her eyebrow was raised at me, but she nodded anyway and called up someone to come and give me the check up. _I hope it's free..._ I sighed mentally. If it wasn't...I was a fast enough runner, I think.

Soon, a plump cheerful-looking nurse came into view. "Are you here for a check-up dearie?" She asked, and I nodded. "It's, um, free right?" I asked, and she smiled at me. "Of course! Now right this way..."

She began leading me through the twisting corridors, passing by doors 33...34...35...36...

77...78...79...

134...135..136...

"Here we are!" She exclaimed, successfully jolting me out of my daydream of coffee. She led me into a pristine white room with a dentist-like chair in the middle of the room.

"So, let's start now," she said brightly. She began by taking my temperature, shocked when it read 15C - room temperature. Her face paled dramatically, and she glanced up at my grin before continuing with the check up.

She began tapping on my knee with a small hammer - which I couldn't feel, thank Jashin - and frowned as she wrote down the results. Then she picked up a stethoscope.

"Lift your shirt up dear - nothing to worry about, we're both women here," she said cheerfully - well, a bit less cheerful than before. Shrugging, I lifted the top off and the nurse let out a tiny scream at the sight of the hole in my chest. Her mouth dropped open.

"H-H-H-How?" She stammered, and I shrugged. "Hey, the Hokage knows about this..._problem_, but can you patch me up?" I said dismissively. Well, I wasn't _sure_ if the Hokage knew, but what she didn't know didn't hurt her, right?

Mutely, she nodded and got a sterilized needle and string. She began sowing me together, and it felt weird since I couldn't feel it. It was just _numb_...Weird, but Jashin-sama warned me about not being able to properly feel things.

When she had finished my front and back and washed off the blood, I pulled my shirt back down and waved at her as I walked away. "Thank you~" I sang on my way out. Now to run before they notice I was a dead body in a morgue-!

Thankfully, I managed to get out before, I don't know, I was chased by medics or something. Konoha medics were crazy, from what I could recall from the anime. I observed my surroundings in a different light. There was that bookstore Naruto Sexy Jutsu'd in...and the hot springs where Jiraiya and Naruto met...and Ichiraku Ramen! Amazing...

I stopped mid-path, staring into the cloudless blue sky. I was in _the _Konoha, I knew _the_ Uzumaki Naruto, son of the Yondaime, and the Kyuubi container, and the Copy-nin and famed interrogator Ibiki (formerly dubbed Scar-y). Lots of shit happened here, the Pein invasion, the Chuunin Exams, the Hokage's death, and I had the knowledge to stop it.

With this whole immortal jazz going on, I could help save a lot of lives. I could stop some pain people would have to deal with, I could help make this world a better place. But where would I start? Who would I save first? I suppose I had to find out when I was first, and how much time until, say, the Wave mission. That's where shit started to go down.

Although, seeing as I'm not a kunoichi it's going to be hard to get approval from the Hokage to go on missions, even if I could go with Gai's team. What with them being my minders, _babysitters_, it would be very troublesome to get out of the village as I'd be under constant supervision - not surprising. I was a seemingly normal teenager who just popped out of nowhere, with a dead body, no chakra, nothing. Of course I would be under scrutiny.

But a more important problem - what would I need to do to be seen as strong enough to go on missions as an unoffical ninja? Hell, could they even do that? I shook my head. Might as well not dwell on that...but I definitely needed to get stronger. Stronger to protect and save.

I sighed. Damn it, three days before all this happened, all this supernatural shite, I was at home. Home. A place I knew, with my family, with technology, without the weight of people's lives resting on my back. And it was all ripped away from me - because Jashin-sama was bored!

I suppose he could have done worse things, maybe reincarnated me into Naruto's body or something, or tortured me, or...or something. But he gave me immortality - something of a nightmare, to be honest, who would _want _to watch everything they know and love crumble and wither and die?

And in this world of blood-shed and hate, where little ol' me with not a scrap of fighting skills was thrown into, immortality would be saving my ass a lot. God knows I'd be killed straight away was I - was I not dead.

I gulped. It was still hard to swallow. This entire world was created by a man, Kishimoto, it was black and white and animated and _fake_. Or supposed to be. But here were living human beings, peacefully continuing on with life without the horrible knowledge that war was coming so soon.

And then there was me. Who was I? A girl with a sheltered life, with no means to protect herself, who hated pain, fighting, putting effort into things... I just wanted to be an artist! I had no chakra, no jutsu, no skills..and here, surrounded by ninja, that would get me killed. Again. And Jashin knows I don't want that to happen again - once was enough thanks!

So in the end, what was there to be done? Well, this was before Shippuden, so I had time, at least. Time to get stronger, to plan out how exactly I was going to go through with this. I mean, I didn't exactly have a choice did I? I couldn't just sit back and watch events unfold around me while I knew that I could stop them, make this world just a tiny bit better.

...to start off, I needed a cup of coffee. _Badly._

* * *

(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

* * *

Grinning, I stared down at my (ruined) hoodie and my over-the-shoulder bag. My hoodie was white, and on the back there was a silver design of interlocking gears. In other words, _badass. _My bag...can you believe it?

Had my _homework._

Throughout dying and being sent to another universe, my fucking homework follows me! The only good thing about having my English, Irish and History books were that I could still learn my language, and look at the history of my country...and that's it. I suppose I kept my English book for the sake of being able to actually _read _something.

_Although, I will have to read in private, _I mused. _After all, I'm dyslexic now..._ And the other thing in my bag was a six-pack of coke! Thank god for my addiction to the stuff which led to me bringing them, right? A world without coke...is a horrible world indeed.

I put on my hoodie, brushing it down adoringly and ignoring the blood stains and tears in it. It felt good to have something from my world...

My world...

Damn it, I was going to miss Mom, Dad, my dogs...my laptop... I felt like crying. _I'll never go on the internet again! _I lamented. _I'll never see the end of One Piece... Noo! Oda-sama, why?! I feel depressed now..._

I sighed, and slung the bag over my shoulder, settling it at my hip as I continued through the village with my hands stuffed in my pockets, and thought about my current situation.

**~ One hour ago~**

_Walking through the village, I continued to stare around me in awe as I took in Konoha. It was so peaceful at the moment, albeit it being too early in the morning for anyone to be conscious. _

_A breeze blew through the village, and caused goosebumps to run up my arms. I shivered and drew them closer to my body, shoving my hands in the over-sized pockets. _

_'Hey, I wonder where my clothes went?' I wondered suddenly. 'I've been here for two days and only now I notice my clothes have been taken? Damn it. I miss my hoodie! It was so awesome...and my bag! My bag hand my cokes in it...daaammnn it! I need my lovely, fitting clothes back!' _

_I frowned lightly as I planned out how to rescue my clothes. 'So, what do I know about the hospital? It stinks, the medics are crazy-good...Where would they keep my clothes then? They changed me into...I don't know, a formal death robe or something, which I've destroyed completely, which means they've taken my hoodie, pants, shoes, bag... But where dammit?!'_

_I passed by a... I looked up at the sign, which was covered in kanji. I glanced inside. There were booths, tables, chairs... a café then? I sniffed at the air, and the sweet scent sent my stomach growling like a beast._

_I sighed. It looked so nice too...but I had no money. Just as I was about to continue on my aimless walk through the Leaf, a commotion caught my attention. Looking back inside, I spotted a cowering shinobi. I didn't recognize him so he was probably a background character, although the glowering, killer-intent-imitting kunoichi behind him, who just toppled over her chair, with dango all over her fish net shirt was..._

_I winced. Oooh, that poor soul. Out of all the things to do, you shouldn't spill Anko's dango. From what the anime showed, she was as much as a dango addict as Naruto was a ramaniac. _

_"You spilt my dango," Anko hissed, causing the shinobi to flinch. "You. Spilt. My. Dango." Suddenly, she was standing beside the soon-to-be-dead shinobi, holding a kunai to his neck. _

_"Give me one reason."_

_'Oh shit she's crazy...time for the awesome Flynn to make her appearance!'_

_I dashed off inside, well aware that this was potential suicide. 'Good thing I'm immortal huh?'_

_"Heeey- hi!" I chirped, skidding to a stop beside the purple-haired kunoichi. She glanced over me before snarling, "And who are you, gaki?" I grinned and put my hands on my hips, posing._

_"The amazing, epically epic Ryder Flynn!" I greeted. Her response was to flick the kunai towards me, forcing me to duck hastily to avoid being stabbed in the eye. "Well, aren't you friendly," I muttered under my breath, dusting myself off and smiling again, plan forming in mind. I was gonna be a hero and save the ninja's life!_

_"So! I heard you like dango. And I heard you lost your dango." I said. Anko cocked an eyebrow, prompting me to say, "And if you help me out with a small favour - and leave this poor guy alone - I'll get you more dango!" I offered._

_Bam! Get her to help me find my clothes, and save this poor...victim...ninja...dude. Can you say hitting two birds with one stone? Anko eyed me for a moment, staring at my baggy top, my messy-as-hell hair, my smile..._

_She smirked. "You owe me, gaki. You better buy me a shit ton of dango," she said, and the shinobi she was threatening ran for the wind out of the café. "Hell yes!" I cheered. I was tempted to do a booty-wriggle-victory dance, but resisted. _

_"So what d'you need help with?" She asked when we were out of the café. I thought over what to tell her. "...long story short, the hospital thought I was dead and stole my clothes, and I want them back 'cause I'm fucking freezing, but I don't know where they are so we gon' be all stealthy and stuff like ninja and steal them back." I nodded, satisfied with my answer._

_Anko grinned cockily at me. "You're not half-bad gaki, but I'm in this for the dango...and for the shits n' giggles." She informed me, and I nodded. I didn't really expect anything less. "I'm Mitarashi Anko, the best kunoichi there is, remember that gaki!" She added._

_"Okay, let's go steal some clothes!" I declared, pointing in a random direction and marching off._

_"The hospital's the other way idiot."_

_"I knew that."_

* * *

_Peering left, I saw an empty hallway. Peering right, I saw the exact same. "All clear," I whispered, and rolled stealthily towards the next corner. I peeked over the corner, and ducked back quickly when I saw a medic's coat. Holding my breath, I waited until she was gone until I head a _thump.

_I poked my head out from the corner, dead-panning when I saw the medic lying on the floor unconscious with a needle sticking out of his neck. I looked up from the unconscious medic and saw a grinning Anko._

_"Isn't that going a bit far?" I questioned, and she shrugged. "I'm helping you out here brat, so be grateful."_

_I sighed. "True." I then proceeded to roll down the corridor, stopping after seven rolls dizzily. "O-Ok, we got a lead on where my clothes are?" I asked after a moment. Anko nodded. "Down in room...17-something." She informed me._

_I twitched. "That's like, two corridors back!" I grumbled. Anko just smiled that infuriating smile._

_"Ok, Transformers, roll out!" I said happily, and rolled back down where I came from, with Anko rolling right behind me._

_Why were we rolling you ask? Well, Anko wanted this to be fun since I couldn't run on walls and such (she found out when I simply stared at her as she climbed up a three story building) and told me that if I didn't roll everywhere, I was going to get "a kunai up where the sun don't shine". I decided to listen._

_We stopped when we reached the doors marked from 170 to 180. "Ok gaki, I'll check every second room," Anko whisper-yelled - as this was a stealth mission, of course - and began slamming every door to the side and dashing in._

_...yep, stealth. _

_I opened the door marked 171 and switched on the lights. There was a few shelves of medicinal herbs, and a couple of beds, but other than that it was empty, so I moved onto room 173 while Anko was at room 176. _

_I blinked as the lights flickered on. There was a low table, possibly for surgery. It was sparkling clean, and there were surgery tools like scalpels (cue memory of Ibiki) and what not. _

_And on the table, was my folded hoodie, bag and jeans! Grinning like a maniac, I rushed over to inspect my clothes. Most of the big tears in my hoodie were sown up, although there was still faint blood stains and tears. My jeans were shredded up and caked in blood and dirt, so I ignored those. My Vans were slightly tattered, but other than that the checkered shoes were fine. _

_"My babies~" I wailed, and snuggled my hoodie and bag. How I had missed my darling Vans! I quickly put them on my bare feet, which were numb due to dead nerves, and tied my hoodie around my waist as I rummaged through my bag and found its contents still there._

_"Anko!" I called. "Mission complete!" Anko skidded into the room, pouting. "Already? And I almost had ten medics down..." Ignoring that last part, I said, "Now we have to retreat without the enemy finding out we've entered their fortress!"_

_Anko was silent for a moment (probably doubting my maturity) before smiling right along with me. "Right! Whoever gets out of here first wins! OnetwothreeGO!" And she ran off with superior ninja skills, leaving me to sprint as fast as I could behind her...which wasn't very fast._

_After a few minutes of ignoring the shouts of people as I shoved them aside roughly I emerged out of the hospital, panting like hell. I hunched over, hands on knees, and took huge breaths of air._

_"D-D-Damn...hah..ninja being all...hahh...speedy n' stuff.." I wheezed. Anko grinned down at me. "I win! You have to buy me my dango now gaki! Ahaha!" She cheered. Catching my breath, I straightened, and sighed. "Ok, let's go get that dango now.." I muttered and trudged off after Anko who was doing a victory dance wiggle._

_We reached the café Anko was in before, with the purple haired kunoichi rushing off to order some dango while I slouched off to a booth. Anko came back, and after a few minutes off awkward silence, the waitress came with a plate of dango, which Anko grinned a, "Itadakimasu!" before devouring it quickly. The waitress came back with another plate, and another, and another..._

_I watched in awe as the tower of plates climbed higher and higher, Anko inhaling all the dango in record speeds. "Damn..." I whispered. After even more plates, Anko patted her belly and sighed, "I'm full!" I let out a breath of relief._

_"Finally!" I grumbled just as the waitress came over with our bill. I looked at it, at the squiggles of kanji that were running up and down the page and frowned. "Uh-huh...uh-huh...yep...alright...ye- I can't read this," I said finally and tossed the bill to Anko. _

_She raised an eye-brow at me. "I'm dyslexic," I explained. "Ah, right," she said, and scanned over the contents before throwing the bill back down. "You gotta pay 15,000 ryou gaki," she cackled. _

_I nodded, and smiled serenely at her. "Hey, Anko?" Anko stopped picking her teeth with a dango stick and grunted to show she was listening. "Can I tell you a secret?" I continued in a hushed voice._

_Suddenly Anko was up in my face, grinning. "Oh? The gaki has some dirt on someone?" she said, in a tone that suggested we were talking about robbing a bank. I nodded. "Yeah, it's really, reaallly important!" I said, eyes wide._

_"I won't tell!" Anko snickered. "...promise?" I whispered in a lower voice, and when she nodded, I looked around before leaning in even closer and whispering in her ear, "I'm broke."_

_Anko sat back in her seat and smiled. No grins, smirks or cackles, just a gentle half-smile. _

_"Hey gaki?" _

_"Hm?"_

_"Did I ever tell you about this great spot I found?"_

_"No, what of it?"_

_"Yes, well, it's the perfect place to hide bodies. Let me show you!" _

_And that's how I found myself legging it out of the café away from a murderous ninja with a waitress screaming at us to pay._

**~Present time~**

I had to sprint around the village like crazy to lose her, and she's _still_ after my blood. Making sure everything was comfortable, and fucking hell was it, I set off at a slow walk. Preserving my energy for running was a very good idea at the present time.

I laced my fingers behind my head and looked around at the market place I had wound up in. More people were up and about now and there were stalls with fruit, vegetables, cheese, clothes, weapons, books, you name it, set up everywhere. In my old town, we never had market days like this, so it was thrilling to walk through the vendors, listening to haggling and admiring all the merchandise.

"_GAKI!"_ And there was my cue to hide! Quickly I ducked behind a stall just as Anko came blazing down the street, kunai in hand and a murderous expression on her face. Strangely enough, it suited her.

She passed, and I stepped out from the stall, nodding my thanks at the bewildered merchant and continuing on my merry way. Sighing, I squinted up at the sun. Judging by the exact angle it was at in proportion to the horizon and that birdy over there, it was still too early to be up.

I'm sure _Naruto _wasn't up yet... Wait - how long had I been out here? I left at seven, and so maybe...about two hours? Nine then...hmm...would there be a team meeting around now - or in a few hours time, with Silver's tendency to be a bit tardy - ?

Oh, but I was technically on Gai's team wasn't I? Did he mention something about a team meeting...? I thought back to the terrifying time of green, youth and exercise. Well, if they did I probably left before he said it. They would probably meet at the same place as yesterday right?

With that in mind, I set off in the semi-familiar route that Old Man Hiruzen took me in the other day, and after a while of wondering I found my destination.

"Thank Jashin it didn't take as long as when I tried to find the hospital," I yawned, stretching. I wasn't built for mornings, ok? And unless I had four cups of coffee or more it was hard to think straight, let alone run from an insane kunoichi, so cut me some slack.

I found a comfortable-enough looking spot under the shade of a tree, and I gladly lay down on the soft grass and closed my eyes. I inhaled the sweet scent of nature, and the sound of the breeze through the leaves and the distant murmur of the village was enough to get me asleep in less than thirty seconds.

* * *

**A/N: So remember when I said I wouldn't take forever to upload?**

**...yeah me neither. **

**Sorry o.o"**

**And now we have immortal!Flynn on our hands :D Shit's gonna go down...**

***strikes pose* Don't worry! I actually have a plot for this! c;**

**And yes, Jashin was basically like, "Fuck it, Imma fuck shit up" and messed up the Naru plot, by sending a Narutard in! :D And no, he did not answer her "wish" when she died. He just did it for the lulz.**

**You bad bad person you.**

**It was really fun to write him for whatever reason xD And that bit of seriousness in there, no clue where that came from.**

**Oh Anko, you dango addict... XD **

**I've had "Potato potato ching chong tomato" stuck in my head for ages. FFS WHYYY?**

**Thanks to all ye lovely people out there who reviewed! **  
**Which means: **

**1000 Faces of Pain, Inazuma Kaiten, Meatbun Attack, animewatcher4685, Demon skitty, Mina'sMadness, WindWhistle21, RedHotPyroDemon, RavenSentByLucifer (bitch get yo ass on FB), Warflower and graverobber-exploits!**

**That's everyone that's reviewed so far! :D Thankies so much! *begins shooting cookies from the Cookie-Launcher-o-matic***

**Ahahaha, the weirdest thing happened just now! I was just casually swinging my foot around, and suddenly there's this sharp pain, and I reach down and pull out a shard of glass from my heel - I don't even **_**know**_** how it got there - and my foot was pumping blood! I got it bandaged up now, but the last time I bleed that much was when I was crawling around and a piece from Monopoly speared my hand. Oh, good times, good times.**

**And I will try my best not to take too long to upload again, but there's a certain thing called real life who despises my guts - literally, they haven't stopped hurting since this morning - and I am a slow-ass writer. **

**So sorry in advance yoi ^^"**

**Question: Who here watches One Piece? :D If you do, who's your favourite out of the Monster trio?**

**Slán go fóill, I'm outta here bitchatchos! *disappears in poof of rainbow smoke***


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